Eden's Birth Story (the long version)

 

We welcomed another baby to our family last week and it has been magical ever since. Seriously, I've been told the third baby is a wild card from birth and after, but everything has been great ever since she's joined us. Obviously there have been challenges, but nothing that can take away from the magic of adding a baby to the crew or a newborn into the home.

Eden's birth story is really not what I expected it to be. In my head, I guess I was imagining a repeat of Wesley's birth because I truly enjoyed his from start to finish and wanted that experience again.

My due date was 6/6 and Jake was finishing his first year of medical school on 6/4. So that last week, my mom was in town and I was really trying to relax and pray the baby didn't come. Friday, 6/4, she hadn't come and Jake was finished with school so we spent a night downtown to celebrate which was so nice and much needed for the both of us. 

Saturday we came home fully expecting to have the baby that night . . . Nope.

Sunday (my due date) . . . Nope.

Monday . . . Nope.

We finally decided to start enjoying the last days we had together as a family of 4 and where I was feeling good. We did ice cream dates with the kids, park dates, shopping around, we even took them to a restaurant which we haven't done in forever.  I was really trying to be patient and content with the time that we had left, even though we were definitely anxious for her to join us. 

Thursday the 10th we took the kids to the park in the morning so I could go on a walk and they could scooter around. We did an ice cream date at UDF after that which the kids loved. We spent a lot of time at the farm the rest of the day, swimming and playing at the sport court. When we got home around 3:30, Wesley was tired and we were jus relaxing in my room. Around 3:45/4 I had my first noticeable / uncomfortable contraction. 

The rest of the evening went on - I made dinner, I curled my hair, I cleaned some things up, I put June to bed. The whole time I was timing the contractions and they were coming about 5 1/2 - 6 minutes apart but they weren't super painful and they were only lasting 30-40 seconds. I figured they'd get more intense as we got into the night.

I went to the bathroom at 9:13 pm (I texted Jake so I have good time stamps on these haha) and had a bunch of mucous, which made me realize that the contractions were actually doing something!

After that, I started to put Wesley down for bed so that I could lay down and rest before the contractions got too difficult. . . Right when I laid down at 9:37 pm, I heard and felt a pop and I knew my water had broken. I immediately called Jake and asked him to come in our room. I wasn't moving because I didn't want it to leak out on our bed. Jake came in and I asked him to bring a couple towels because I was pretty sure my water had broken. His face went from nonchalant to shocked soooo fast. 

He brought me a couple towels and helped me put them under my body. As I *very* slowly moved, the water just kept on coming. My water has never broken at home, only while we were at the hospital, so this kind of freaked me out. I was especially freaked out because when my water broke with Wesley, he was born 40 minutes later! So when I got up and knew that my water had officially broken, I told Jake we needed to leave now. Of course we hadn't finished packing the bag, so my mom grabbed some last minute things and threw them in. I put on an adult diaper, wrapped a towel around myself, and we went! 

We called my doctor's office on the way to let them know we were on the way. Funny moment from this is Jake was talking to the nurse and when she asked my birthday, he said "3.... 28......1995." Hahhaha, completely wrong. He was nervous - it felt like we went from 0-100 so fast. I guess that's how everyone feels when their water breaks! 

We got to the hospital around 10:45 pm and had to enter through the E.R. which was annoying. We had to wait there for 15 or so minutes for an L+D nurse to come grab us. I was managing the contractions really well, just staying focused and in my head and not worrying about anything else that was going on. They took us straight to my room because the contractions were pretty consistent. I heard the nurse who was wheeling me in talking on the phone saying. "She thinks her water broke and believes the baby will be here fast." I was just rolling my eyes on the inside because I knew 100% for a FACT that my water had broken! 

The midwife came to check me and she was soooo kind and gentle. I was only a 4, 90% effaced, and 0 station. I was surprised but just was glad we made it to the hospital since we were pretty close to not making it with Wesley. 

I laid down in the bed on my left side with the peanut ball and Jake's airpods in and just breathed through the contractions while they got my IV in and did all the paperwork. It's been interesting for my past 2 births, I've been the most comfortable laying on my back or side resting rather than walking around or in the shower. The next hour was pretty chill - the contractions upped in intensity and around midnight, they started to feel like I couldn't manage them. I got shaky and was telling Jake, "I'm not doing this! I can't do this. I'm getting the epidural." 

Jake (calmly) said, "Do you want to try to use the nitrous first?" I said yes, even though in the moment I really just wanted immediate relief. They quickly set that up and I started breathing it in around 12:30 am. 

The nurse asked to check me and I said sure, but don't tell me what I'm at. She told Jake and when she left the room I went ahead and asked Jake what I was at and he said I was a 5. Only a 5 in an hour! So I immediately stood up over the side of the bed because I was feeling done and when I stood up, it was as if the baby dropped into the correct position and my body started to push. I mean REALLY push. I was bearing down and grunting and Jake immediately stood up to be with me and make sure the nurse was coming in! 

My nurse came in within 2 minutes of me standing up because she noticed the contraction pattern changed on the monitor and she asked if she could check me again. I was at a 9! This was probably 12:45 am. She asked me to move to the bed in a few minutes if I could, I said that I would. I actually just gave a thumbs up haha. Best way to communicate in labor.

After a couple more contractions and my body starting to push, I laid down and she checked me again and I was a 10 and she was having them call Dr. Pierson. At this point, I felt pretty out of control to be honest. It felt like the baby was coming, ready or not! I just kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe and focus through each contraction. They were coming one on top of another and I could feel the baby moving down the canal - literally. I could feel the head making its way down and I was trying to reason with myself (in my head) that I could do this. When I try to describe what this part of labor felt like, the only thing I can think of is imagining a large rock coming down and out of you. Without the water sack to cushion everything, her body was just very hard like a rock making its way down.

I remember thinking around this time that I would definitely be getting the epidural next time, and that the pain was almost unbearable and I just needed it to be over ASAP! 

I laid down on the bed at 12:54 AM and was breathing and breathing and breathing, long drawn out breaths. Then around 12:57 I started to push and she was coming! Her head was right there. I pushed for 6 minutes, the longest and fastest 6 minutes of my life. Pushing as hard as I could with each contraction, trying to work with the contraction and not against it. 

At 1:03 AM her head came out, then 2 more big pushes and her body came out. The doctor and Jake said in unison, "You did it! You did it!" They brought her up to my chest, and I laid my head back and cried. It was over. It was beautiful and it was over, now I could enjoy my baby! She cried and she cried and I just laid my head back on the bed, grateful that the pain was over and that she was here with us. The nurse commented that she was another good size baby.

My placenta came quickly, within a few minutes, and I barely noticed. My doctor checked me for tears which burned and I cringed through the checking. I felt so fortunate to not have any tears! 

For the first time in all of my baby's births, we got the golden hour together. She nursed, Jake cuddled her, she nursed again. They weighed her after a little bit of time and she was 8 lbs 12 oz and 20 3/4 inches. I hardly remember the first night with her. She's 3.5 months and her birth already feels like a lifetime ago. I guess that's what having 3 babies in 3 years does to you! 

Eden is beautiful and amazing and sweet and sour. She hates her car seat, but loves everything else. She's a great cuddler and sleeper. She rocks at nursing. Her siblings are obsessed with her. She smiles and when she's super happy, she sticks her tongue out (all the way down to her chin). She fits right into our family and we love and adore her so much. 

39 Weeks!

Lol the card is totally necessary to add to this blog post because THAT'S ALL PEOPLE DO IN THE 38TH AND 39TH WEEK! They ask, "How are you feeling?" And, "Why isn't the baby here yet?" I try not to sound annoyed when people ask me this but I'm like, the baby will get here when he/she dang well pleases and I'm not even to my due date yet! Of course I'm really hoping the baby decides to come out like, tonight, but he/she has 6 more days to cook until the eviction notice is REAL. 

In other news - I've started journaling again which is great and just in time for love notes about the baby. I've found the best way for me to be consistent is to bring the journal to school and try to get a little note in before my classes or else I'll get home and never journal because I'm making dinner or trying to spend time with Jake or doing homework! 

Also, Jake's mom got us a night at a local bed and breakfast this Friday and it's going to be so fun! I love spending the night at hotels and places like that so I'm really looking forward to it. Our last little getaway as just the two of us!  It's also nice that it's so close to home just in case I do go into labor... but most importantly, it has a huge bath tub. So if I do go into labor, I'll just be chillin in that! 

AND, my mom gets in town this Saturday which is going to be awesome!! I'm excited to see her. And then a week from Sunday is when Lisette gets here. It's going to be so fun and I'm excited that I'm going to have a stinking baby in a week!!!!! 

As for my appointment stuff this past Tuesday, Jake was able to come which was great. He was able to meet Tina and hopefully this next week he can meet Renee. 

•  I gained 3 lbs..... 
• But somehow my fundal height is the same as last week so . . . Thanks, McDonalds 
• BP was great - like 104/72 or something
• Baby's heartbeat was seriously fast, like 170s. So we listened to it for a couple of minutes and it went down to the 150s. Was kinda freaky there for a second.
• Still dilated to a 1 and my cervix is thick (insert crying emoji) 

After the appointment I was pretty deflated, I guess you could say. . . I was hoping to be just a bit more progressed, like at least a 1.5 or a 2. But nothing! And my cervix is thick!?! So I went and bought an exercise ball, and made sure to park far away in the parking lot at Target so I could walk some extra steps hahah I'm sure that really helped. But the most important part is that I was able to complete my two midterms this morning and now I can really get going on getting this baby here! If you see a pregnant lady walking and doing bleachers and squats at the Smith Field House, it's just me! Haha we just want to meet this little kid! 

If the baby doesn't come before Tuesday, I'm gonna consider getting my membranes stripped. I'd rather try something like that than not be a super great candidate for induction if it came down to it at 42 weeks. I do NOT want to be induced so I'm really going to try ANYTHING to get this baby coming! Getting my membranes stripped will still be something Jake and I need to talk about before  I go through with it, but it could be a jumpstart to a pretty much natural starting labor (if that makes sense).

Anyway. I could have a baby tonight so that's keeping me going. Hahahaha. 

38 WEEKS! :) :) :)

Holy moly!!!!!!!!! 38 weeks!! I'm full term and ready for this baby to come! I've been walking and trying to stay active while also trying to remind myself that the baby could very well come after 40 weeks so I shouldn't get my hopes up. It's so comforting knowing my body has grown a baby for a full 38 weeks and we've done this thing! Now we're ready for this baby to come and hang out with us in "real life".

This last appointment I went to on Wednesday was great. I met with Renee again and I am really LOVING her. I hope she gets hospital privileges before I deliver. . . I will wait for her. ;)

• Gained 35 pounds so far, which is only one pound since last week . . . nice.
• BP was 120/72 (This is prob only important to me. haha)
• Baby's heartbeat: Strong 130s!
• My belly is measuring 40.5 weeks . . . yeah I'm definitely ready for that to go down some. 
• I'm dilated to a 1 and baby's head is at -2 station. 

Things are progressing . . . slowly! We can't wait for this baby to get here!!! 

36 weeks, Second baby shower!

This past weekend, we had my Utah baby shower which was super fun! It was at Amanda's house, hosted by Samantha and her family and we had the best food ever. Lots of Jake's family came and a few friends and it was a fun way to spend the Saturday. We got some of the CUTEST outfits ever for the baby. I am so excited for the baby to be here so we can dress him / her in them! We also got lots of diapers, wipes, and BABY BOOKS! The cutest baby books of all time. I am so excited, they are already looking so cute on our bookshelf!

One of the games we played was Jake and I both had a white board and Sam asked us questions and we were seeing the difference in our answers. One of the first questions was, "What's one word to describe Lynnette during this pregnancy?" I wrote, "Hungry". He wrote, "Happy". Sweet guy haha.

Another surprise was Hailey showed up! She's Jake's cousin and we went camping with her and her husband, Kaden, earlier last year. That trip was so fun and we are looking forward to another one. But she walked in so casually and I was like, "What the heck?! You're here from Idaho!?!?!" It was so fun to see her and catch up!

When we went home later that afternoon, we organized ALL the baby stuff we have. I think Jake is feeling the "nesting" more than I am. We sorted out all the baby's clothes by age, figuring out what we want to wash and then store away to wash later. We took off all the tags off the baby clothes, blankets, and towels. We set up one of the shelves in the bathroom with diapers and wipes, and then one of the baskets on the shelves has all the baby shampoos and hygiene care. We are definitely getting excited.

I also had my 36 week appointment today:

• I've gained 32 lbs. That just sounds so much better to me than saying the actual amount I weigh right now?! Haha
• My BP was 118/72, even though I was nervous!! So that's great.
• Baby's heartbeat was 140 and sounded great!!
• BABY WAS HEAD DOWN :) Thank goodness! They did a little handheld ultrasound and just showed me the cute little head. He/she is face down, AKA ready to come out and we are ready too.
• Did the group B strep swab thing. It wasn't that bad. Hopefully I test negative though so I don't need an IV! 
• Still measuring a week and a half ahead.
• Bought some evening primrose oil right after and can't wait to start using it!
• Met the new midwife. I believe her name is Leanne? And she's from Fort Jones, AKA where Five Marys Farm is! So I was pretty excited about that since Five Marys is our favorite Instagram of all time! She's also been a midwife for 18+ years and just seems amazing which I'm really grateful for!

35 Weeks Pregnant!!

Holy cow how am I already 35 weeks along?! It's been a really great pregnancy . . . and for that, this week has started to KICK. MY. TRASH. Seriously, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable the majority of the day, but especially when I walk. It's definitely manageable, but it has made me want the baby to come out RIGHT THIS SECOND!

I was talking to my friend Carly today and she said, "If the baby came now, would you guys be ready?" In my opinion... Yes! Haha, we have a crib, clothes, car seat, stroller, wraps, and I have boobs . . . What else do you need?! Haha of course I want this baby to cook for a couple more weeks but I would be totally fine if he/she decided to come right at 38 weeks or something.

As for pregnancy stats:

• I've gained 28 lbs so far
• My blood pressure has been good so far! At my last appointment, it was 120/60.
• Baby's heartbeat has been consistent and strong at 130-140 bpm.
• Belly is measuring 1 1/2 weeks ahead consistently (has been since I was about 28 weeks)
• I still sleep pretty good, even though I generally wake up a few times in the night and at least once to go to the bathroom. Jake told me to stop drinking water past 7 pm . . . Not an option?!!
• My iron is low. Thanks, Mom, for passing that down to me. I have to take slow release iron tablets on TOP OF my prenatal vitamins (roll my eyes). 
• All of my pants are uncomfortable to wear at this point. I've been wearing dresses this week because squishing my belly in is just not cutting it. People may think I'm dressing up . . . I'm really just trying to hang free underneath.

We still don't have any names decided yet. We have names that we like and that we both agree on, but we're just not sure if they would fit our baby. So I've made the goal to name the baby before we leave the hospital.

The other night we went to dinner with 3 other couples at Makan Makan which is a Malay restaurant just a little north in Sandy. It's so good (especially their egg rolls) but we did family style and I ate way too many different kinds of food . . . all fried. And on top of that, 4 egg rolls! Needless to say that night I did NOT feel good and had a sprite open by my bed while I listened to rainbow relaxation. 

Also, I have to walk down the RB stairs a couple times a week. Yesterday morning, I was walking down and was going kind of slow because at this point, I'm having trouble seeing my feet and the last thing I want to do is fall down the stairs (and apparently pregnant women have their balance / center of gravity a little off). Anyway, I hold on to the railing as I go but I'm not going TOO slow. There were these two girls who were riding my tail and talking so loud right in my ear! I just stopped on the stairs so they could pass me and I heard them comment about how sassy it was that I did that. I just laughed because when they looked back up at me, they could see the reason for my slowness. Just protecting the goods, ladies.

Aside from all of that, I'm feeling really happy with how this pregnancy has been so far! I've been feeling good, sleeping good, and I haven't been as emotional as everyone says they are during pregnancy. These last few weeks, I hope to be in a really good, excited place for natural birth and I'm getting excited for my sisters and mom to be here! These next 5 weeks can FLY BY! 

Finals! #27weeks

December is flying by. Sam had some extra tickets to the Christmas devotional (thanks to her dad, hahahahaha which has the best background story) and we were excited to go! Jake had never been to the conference center, so it was fun to explore it with him and look at all the paintings. The devotional was great too, even though President Monson wasn't there. It was also supposed to snow that night but it didn't snow until the next morning and only about 1/2 an inch... best winter ever.

Finals week is also about to be here! We have our last day of classes tomorrow, and then finals start on Saturday! Only one of mine is scheduled, but I think I'll be able to bust them out early so I can work the rest of the week until we try to fly home! I'm glad we're flying ... driving actually sounds pretty miserable right now even though we'd get so many good gas station snacks... my favorite part about driving. hahaha

We also got this awesome surprise from Jake's mom for Christmas! She ordered us (and herself) a sampler box from Fivemarys and it is AWESOME! We were so excited to get the box. So far we've only tried the ground beef and the M5 spice rub, but we are excited to try to ground lamb and other goodies! It also came with their ground beef recipe book which we've already tried two recipes out of and oh my gosh, yum. I am going to get spoiled by their ground beef... it's seriously DELICIOUS. We tried their chili and the sloppy joes and both were seriously so freaking good. 

And for pregnancy update... I don't feel like I'm that big which is kinda nice, but sometimes I still have a hard time getting out of bed. I've been feeling pretty great though.

-  I don't know how much weight I've gained, but I'm not feeling TOO heavy. I have an appointment next week, but they usually don't even tell me my weight / I don't look at the scale. 

- I have my glucose test tomorrow :O I'm kinda nervous even though I don't know if I should be... I just hope I don't have gestational diabetes and I hope I don't have to do the 3 hour test! I'm going to eat eggs and ham for breakfast 

- The baby is a wild thing during the day and then at night is totally calm and doesn't move much! But if I move on a certain side in the middle of the night he/she dances around to get comfortable. I've been getting a ton of video of all the movement lately! 

- My acne has been gone for a while now, which is SO NICE! Haha I don't feel like a pregnant 12 year old anymore! 

- Sleep is getting better now that I've figured out a better system! 

- Baby gifts have been coming in  the mail - SO SO FUN! I have the best friends! 

22 weeks!

The cutest foot ever. 

Baby curled up in a ball... He/she really doesn't like ultrasounds! 

The dreamiest profile I've ever seen. 

Chunky little leg! So freaking cute. 

Holy moly how I am I 22 weeks pregnant already? Ha. Jk. It's been the slowest 22 weeks ever! But I'm definitely feeling more pregnant this week - my stomach feels harder, my baby's moving around CONSTANTLY (which feels crazy cool and he/she sleeps all through the night ha hahaha), and I'm feeling round ligament pain when I walk like nobody's business.

Pregnancy related stuff:

• I'm definitely in maternity jeans. I have been since probably 16 weeks or so. Regular jeans were causing REAL PAIN, and I was being squished in all the wrong places. 
• I'm probably going to have an outie belly button here in the next couple of weeks. It's so close.
• I'm lathering up every night w/ bio oil and cocoa butter lotion to hopefully prevent some stretch marks. They wouldn't be the end of the world, but . . . I had a dream that I found some the other night and they were like tiger claws to the belly. I cried in my dream. 
• I'm pretty much always hungry, but when I'm full, oh my gosh I'M SO FULL - like can't move full. Even feel like I can't breathe full. 
• Not sure how much I weigh but I had a dream that I weighed 150. In my dream (and when I woke up), I was like, THERE'S NO POSSIBLE WAY. So we'll see at my 24 week appointment
• I probably need to get a pregnancy pillow soon. I toss and turn ALL NIGHT. 
• Not really craving anything, and don't have any food aversions. Although I haven't had hot funyuns since I threw them up at Rancherito's a few weeks ago hahaaha (it was terrible). 
• Not finding out the gender has actually been pretty easy. And makes me way more excited for delivery! 

We got our official 20 week anatomy scan about 2 weeks ago, and it was awesome. The tech had been working longer than I've been alive (ha he found this terrible) and he was SO informative. We're that annoying couple that's like, "So what are you looking for now? Oh, how big is the baby's femur measuring? And how much do you think the baby weighs? OH AND WARN US WHEN YOU'RE GOING DOWN THERE BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE GENDER." First time parents... so annoying.

Our baby is growing well! At the time, he/she was about 14 oz. I forgot to ask how long he thought the baby was, but I'm kinda hoping he/she takes after Jake's genes and not mine, or short and chubby will rule his/her world.

Updates in our life, besides the baby include . . .

• Jake is killing it in school. Still. Today he texted me that he got a 99 on his physiology exam... A 99!!! I told him I can't wait to have his big-brained babies.
• We've already finished Stranger Things 2 and loved it. Although Jake's way more of a fanatic than I am. Randomly the other day he was like, "Yeah, they are probably going to make at least a 4th season, if it keeps doing well." He's been researching it, hahaha, of course
• We also started watching The Great British Baking Show on Netflix. It's lighthearted and those people are SERIOUSLY talented. 10/10 would recommend that show to anyone.
• We bought a crib!!!! :) :) :) It's the crib I wanted from IKEA, but IKEA stopped making it so I was bummed. But I found it on Facebook marketplace, along with the mattress that she had never taken out of the plastic, for $50!! I was so excited. So yes, it's already set up in our room. And it's SO CUTE.
• We're doing a Friendsgiving the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and WE'RE IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY. Honestly, pray for us.
• Ok baby related, we feel the baby all the time. Well, I do, and then when I get Jake to look over or feel, the baby stops. Too excited that his/her dad is waiting to feel movement. But so cute nonetheless. But last night the baby made a huge bulge (I don't know what else to call it?) right by my belly button and Jake was like, "There's no way the baby did that. You did that." And luckily the baby did it again so I could prove it wasn't me. Baby just loves to move.
• We are so excited for our little Thanksgiving break. We are going up to Bountiful for a couple days, and then will probably just catch up on shows and snuggle the rest of the week, ha.
• Jake just got a new calling....... He tried to trick me that he got called into the bishopric, HAHA. He's actually a permanent sub for primary. I just want him to be called into nursery with me! Agh!
• It's starting to get colder. Woohoooooo. Except I'm not looking forward to the snow, mainly because I don't like driving in it?!? And I drive home from work at 6 like 4 days week!?!?! 

19 weeks .. and anatomy scan!

This semester is going great! Jake is killing it and school. . . and I'm not doing too badly either ;) I'm finally enjoying school and everything I'm learning so woohoo! I'm not afraid to encourage anyone that may feel defeated and stressed out by what they're studying to switch to something a liiiittle easier and become a normal, happy person :)

ANYWAY... Can you see our cute baby's profile?! I'm obviously biased, but it's the sweetest little profile I've ever seen.

A couple weeks ago, I agreed to do the quad screening test. This test basically SCREENS for Trisomy 21 (down syndrome) and Trisomy 18 (Neural tube defects, such as spina bifida). My insurance covered it so I thought, why not? Another test we went ahead and did was to check to see if I carried any mutation of Cystic Fibrosis.

About a week later, I had called in about the CF results because they still weren't in after 6 weeks. I had left a message with the nurses to please call me back when they had the results! One nurse did end up calling me back, but it was to let me know that she didn't know how to interpret the results and would have to wait for a midwife to call me. Looking back on that now, that could've been she didn't know how to interpret the quad screening results.

Anyway, wasn't freaked out. Everything was fine, a midwife would try to call me later. The next day, I got a voicemail from one of the midwives, Sue, that said, "We probably need to speak with you by tomorrow. I will make sure someone calls you." I was freaking out! It didn't help that I had listened to this voicemail at 3:00 pm, so I didn't have much time to call in and figure out what was going on.

About half an hour later, Jake texted me saying that another midwife, Kim, called his phone and said, "You guys should probably make an appointment with a perinatologist. Here's their number." And we were like WHAT?! We were one, googling what the freak a perinatologist was, and then going back to WHAT? Why did we need to call them for an appointment?!

That day, I was trying to call the midwives, the nurses, the perinatologist's office . . . anyone I could think of to try to get these results, but nobody was available. We waited until the next day and I decided I would just go up to the midwife's office. The Orem office is closed on Fridays, but the Provo office always has one midwife working there, so I went. The front desk lady told me I needed to make an appointment - probably for next week. I told her, as kindly as possible, that I was not waiting until the next week, especially if everything had sounded as urgent as it did. (Did they want me to play the voicemails for them!?!?!) 

I was able to get an appointment with another midwife, Becky, at 12:15 that day. So I went to my physical science class and then returned to the midwife's office just in time. The nurse checked my BP, of course it was higher than normal ha, and my weight. Then she told me that they had been checking some websites to give me as much information as they could. This is when I figured it might be that I carry the CF gene, because Trisomy 21 and 18 are pretty well-known abnormalities.

When I finally got in the midwife's office, I was a freaking nervous wreck! I was sweating haha and on the verge of tears if I were to start talking. When she came in, she was so nice and again described to me what the test was a screening for - explaining that the quad screen gives you a risk factor for having a baby with these certain abnormalities, thus, not being fullproof and not guaranteeing that your baby will have anything "wrong" with him/her per se - which was nice. But I really just wanted her to get to the stuff I was there for!

She finally said, "We don't think that the quad screen results came back hinting at neural tube defects, but there is a higher chance your baby will have down syndrome." Then she basically went on to say that this isn't a completely negative thing. Many DS babies are born healthy and of course happy. I wasn't worried about having a down syndrome baby because of the way they look, or they way they act, or they way they think - I was worried about how I would handle a baby that may have to deal with several open heart surgeries and NICU time?! It was scary.

I finally asked her what the chances were that we were carrying a baby with down syndrome, and she said 1 in 10. That's a pretty high chance, as the national average is 1 in 150. I was thinking it might be 1 in 25 or 1 in 50 - 1 in 10 really hit me! But this was pretty much all she could say at the point, as it's not a definitive screening, and made sure that I had an appointment with the perinatologist. We did for the next Friday.

She let me listen to the baby's heartbeat - and it sounded great at 150 bpm!

All week, Jake and I were searching information about DS and the quad screening and trying to make sense of it all and trying to plan for IF our baby had DS markers and what we would do next. We also tried to have a lot of fun and stay busy and not stress about it - stress isn't good for me or the baby ;)

It finally was Friday and we were feeding the Mauldin's horses that morning so we got up early anyway. I made chocolate chip pancakes and eggs for breakfast and I'm pretty sure we watched an episode of Heartland. As we got ready, I could FEEL Jake getting more and more nervous! Haha he was not handling it well. I reminded him to wear deodorant . . . and he told me he doesn't sweat when he's nervous. Yeah right?!?!?!

We drove to the hospital, parked, walked in, filled out some paperwork, and waited. The nurse came and grabbed us and she measured my weight and BP - also higher than normal. I joked about it and she said, "Everyone that comes in here has a higher BP than normal, don't worry about it." Haha, I think my BP was 126/85 or something, so not terrible. I definitely pride myself in staying calm haha.

She walked us back into the ultrasound room. It was so nice and dark. I laid down and Jake sat right next to me and we met with the tech first. She was super nice. She had been working at this hospital for about 7 years and was super friendly and really knew what she was doing. Jake also was giving her a run for her money in identifying certain things and asking difficult questions ... anatomy students! Haha

She measured everything on the baby without spilling the gender, which was awesome, and she was super informative about what exactly she was looking for - nuchal fold, size of the femur, size of the head, the heart's 4 chambers and blood flow, the umbilical cord blood flow, etc. She also got us the CUTEST picture of our baby's left leg. Oh my gosh I about sent it to everyone right after.

She didn't give anything away about whether or not she had actually down soft markers because she's not the doctor, so although we had just spent 20 minutes riling up our cute baby, we still didn't know anything. Dr. Dizon-Towson came in about 5 mins after she left. She had reviewed the scans that the tech had gotten and said that they had found no soft markers. None at all. Wow. We were so relieved. It was a really amazing feeling.

Of course an ultrasound can't be definitive, as they can only show us physical things and of course trisomy 21 is a chromosomal thing, but it was still extremely reassuring and she didn't suggest we do any further testing (which was good, cause I really didn't want any). She also did a little ultrasound, just checking really fast over what the tech had just gone over. She got some nice frontal pics of the baby looking creepy at us and answered any and every question we had. We also made the connection that she was born in Cinci and then went to Medical school at UTSW and did her residency at Parkland! It's a small world.

We walked away from the ultrasound relieved and so thankful. We also walked away knowing that even if our baby had any markers for DS, we would love that baby just as much and would do anything and everything to ensure that baby was properly taken care of. We know that the moms and dads of DS kids are special women, and God only entrusts certain women and men with their care. We also know that kids with down syndrome are sent directly from heaven with sweet spirits and we wouldn't take for granted the opportunity to raise a baby with any chromosomal abnormality.

17 weeks! And OCTOBER!

Jake's mom visited this weekend and it was so fun! She was coming for Emily's volleyball game (they were playing Westminister which was so awesome) and also to get some good family time in!

Friday night was the volleyball game. They ended up losing, but in 5 - it was such a good game and it was fun to visit with Emily afterwards! I also talked to Jake's cousin Monica who had a natural birth last year with her daughter and she gave me a book recommendation! I'm excited to read it.

On Saturday, we got Tracey all to ourselves and we went maternity clothes shopping and ALSO BOUGHT A CAR SEAT AND STROLLER! I'm soooo excited about it. Tracey is amazing! It was the first thing for the baby we've purchased -- a totally necessary item -- and I'M PUMPED. I'm also proud of myself for not splurging on any random baby clothes... Yet. 

We also saw our cute baby in an ultrasound! The tech didn't spoil the surprise and everything was looking good. He/she was sleeping with one hand over the stomach and the other hand above the head... Dreamy little kid already. 

After that, we all spent some time at the Mauldin's and I had to try on EVERYTHING WE BOUGHT. Hahahaha, Blackwelders love fashion shows. Later that evening, all the sisters that live in Utah went up to the canyon and brought all the available kids. I was excited that Anna and Ruth were coming otherwise it would've been... interesting, hahaha. We went up to American Fork Canyon and picked a random little hike to go up with everyone. The fall colors were amazing...

BUT.... On Sunday, after watching the first session and eating breakfast sandwiches, we took Sundance up to Provo Canyon by Squaw Peak and the COLORS WERE INSANE THERE (pictured below is AF canyon and then below that, you can see Provo canyon behind us... Insane). 

It was really fun riding Courtney's horse up there, especially when at one point we were going up this part that was pretty steep and Sydney was like, "I'M FALLING OFF!" hahaha. It felt so nice outside -- being with people I love.. It was awesome. And those pics of me and Jake and Tracey were taken on Jake's iPhone 7+!! The quality is seriously ridiculous! 

The bump is growing! I'm ready to feel some movement from this baby who I KNOW loves to move! 

Hahaha so Jake and the boys went up to Squaw peak Saturday night while we were having girl time and they found 5 chickens that had been left stranded there! They were just going to leave them there because they were looking pretty bad and there was NO WAY we were adding more chickens to our flock. A random lady ended up coming up to them and saying she'd take them (this is from her Insta-story and I was dYING LAUGHING!!) She really did take them home ... even though she doesn't have a coop .... In the front seat of her car. Hahaha. Amazing. 

15 weeks

I wish (kind of?) that I could say this pregnancy was flying by, but it's really not! I was 15 weeks earlier this week, but I'll be 16 weeks tomorrow . . . So really, this is like a 16 week update.

I get to go back to my midwife this week, which is exciting. Although I'm hoping for a boring and regular appointment! I'm pretty sure we're just discussing some optional tests to see if my baby will have any kind of disorders (Down Syndrome, things like that). If they're covered by insurance, we may go ahead and do it. But the Panorama test also gives away the gender of the baby . . . No thanks!!

We are holding off on finding out the gender until we deliver the baby because that's how it's meant to be! It's meant to be a surprise. . . science is getting in there and ruining a whole lot of things about growing a human and birth, in my opinion. ;) We were both on board with the idea way before I even got pregnant, and it makes us even more excited for March!

I've been feeling pretty good. I'll randomly get sick and feel like I'm going to throw up, but it's rare that I actually throw up. Although the other day, we were driving around town and running errands and I was like, "Oh no... I don't feel good. Pull over. Pull over!" Hahaha and we pulled into some Rancherito's on state street and I puked.... so fun. I. hate. puking. Jake was like, "What can I do?" and I said, "Run in there and get a sprite!" hahahaha. Overall though, I feel pretty good.

My pants are DEFINITELY getting tighter. Holy cow. I'm not sure how much longer using the ponytail trick is going to work... but I'm definitely not big enough for maternity pants. And did I mention it's getting cold so dresses aren't that great of an option?!?!

We don't have another ultrasound until our anatomy scan which is our 20 week appointment... That's gonna be a long wait. I'm pretty sure during that appointment they make sure everything is measuring correctly (head, femur, etc). And they usually give you the gender of the baby at that appointment. Hopefully they remember to tell us to turn away and don't accidentally say anything like, "Oh, he's looking good!" It obviously wouldn't be the end of the world, but it'd be pretty sad to not keep the surprise!

Other than that, everything is pretty good! Sleeping is still good so far, even though I switch from side to side a lot through the night already... I'm a stomach sleeper and that's been rough because I can't quite do that anymore! Luckily Jake pretty much sleeps in one position all night and I don't feel like I'm bothering him too much.... yet. Haha

Finding out and telling everyone

Ahh! We are so, so, so excited. long story short, in the first 2 months of our marriage we were extremely happy but we were also like, "how much happier would our lives be with a baby?" and we debated and debated about getting off of birth control. because we are both still in school, and still would be when the baby would come. Jake was more worried about how i would do in school with a baby, but I really wasn't that worried about it. I knew we both could do it, as long as we were supporting each other.

fast forward to may/june. the semester's ending, we had been trying for 5 months and we were both like, "if we're not pregnant by the end of spring semester, then we aren't going to worry about it! we're just going to live our lives and hopefully we'll get pregnant when the timing is right!" 

We left Utah, went to Texas, had a really fun time there, and then went to Cincinnati. We got there around July 3 and I still hadn't had my period that was supposed to come on July 2nd. I wasn't getting any hopes up though because traveling can mess up your cycle and also my period ALWAYS came early or late; it was never on time unless I was on the pill. 

Around July 5th or 6th, everyone seemed busy doing their own thing and I still hadn't started so I snuck upstairs and took a test . . . in the bathroom that I couldn't get to lock. IT WAS NERVE WRACKING! hahaha. then I quickly took the test into our room and locked the door and waited 3 minutes. the line was faint but IT WAS THERE AND I WAS LIKE OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH TEXT JAKE.

Jake was downstairs building an Ikea dresser for our room. I texted him, "Hey come upstairs for a second :)" and he said "Haha ok" . . . HE THOUGHT IT WAS A BOOTY CALL!!! 

I'm not creative, nor did I want to wait any longer to tell him we were having a baby!!!!! So I left the test on the bed and I just smiled and said, "Look at it!!!" And he said, "I can't, I can't! Just tell me!" And I'm pretty sure I had to literally push his face down to look at it. And then we both freaked out and hugged and laughed and we were like, "WHAT THE heck?! This is happening?!!?!?" It's a whole other thing trying to get pregnant . . . but then when you ARE, you're like . . . Whoa, there's a baby inside of you. 

Anyway, we held onto that little secret for the next 2 or so weeks. It was tough because I felt nauseous, but mostly when we were in the car. I rarely got the front seat so a lot of the time I was just dying in the backseat really trying not to throw up and cursing whoever was driving hahah! There was one morning when we were helping a family in Grandpa Martin's ward; they needed all their square hay bales brought in before it rained so they didn't get ruined. First of all, HOT. Second of all, hard work. Third of all, PREGNANT. I was nauseous, thirsty, and dying the whole time. BUT I MADE IT THROUGH, and didn't break the news to everyone so I could just get a break. #proudmoment 

When we finally were wanting to tell people, I was around 7 and a half weeks pregnant (according to my calculations). Honestly I didn't want to tell people quite yet because I wanted to know that the baby was healthy, but after calling a few butthead doctors in the area, I figured out that wasn't going to happen! SO, we were trying to think of a fun plan. 

With Anna in tow, we went to a pregnancy center and got it confirmed (the weirdest thing ever lol) and then we went to get her sister Emily from the airport. This is when we really started to think of something good! The family really loves to look at pictures from people's trips and weeks and the fun things they've been doing on the apple TV. Well perfect, because Emily was just getting home from Italy! So the night after we picked her up, we were all hanging out at the farm just talking and everyone was inside so Jake (without me knowing he was going to do this) said, "Hey let's look at Emily's Italy pictures!" So we did. And she was awesome. And then we she got to the last photo, we had taken the one at the very top of this post the day before. She said, "And this is the best picture from the trip. . ." 

It took a second for everyone to read it and figure out what it said (cursive is hard haha) but when they got it, I was pretty much crying and everyone was so excited! We were hugging and laughing and everyone was like, "WHAT THE?!?!?!" It was soooo fun. Aaron was convinced he already knew. It was the funnest night.

I wish my family could have been there too, but since we wouldn't see them for another 4 weeks, I just sent my sisters and mom the picture above.

Everyone was super excited to hear we were having a baby. Can't wait to grow this cute little peanut over the next 6 months!