Postpartum journey: Learning the ropes of nursing

My milk took forever to come in, and I think part of it was that I didn't hold or touch June until about 8 hours after I gave birth to her. All the research Jake and I did showed the importance of immediate skin to skin, but of course that didn't go to plan!

When they first brought her to me, I don't remember her fussing at all, but I wanted to try and nurse her. They had been giving her pasteurized human milk but I wanted her to get some colostrum. I picked her up, brought her to the boob, and she latched perfectly. I knew the basics from what I had read about breastfeeding, but it was like June had been doing it her whole life. It was seriously amazing and I'm so grateful she has a good latch. My colostrum was great. I would hand express and get some, so I knew she was eating every time she latched which was nice and a relief. But my milk took quite a few days to come in, which was frustrating.

On top of my milk taking a while to come in, my nipples hurt pretty badly. She had a great latch, I think it's just that your nipples have to get used to being sucked on pretty hard. Obviously. Anyone who tells you nursing isn't supposed to hurt . . . well, it does at first, even if your baby's latch is just right. So it's okay if your nipples hurt. Keep going, because it finally gets better.

Every time she latched, which I would let her any time she showed any hunger cues, I would seriously want to cry. I got some Lanolin and also Newman's Ointment and was using them both religiously. Everyone told me to keep going and that it would get easier. I'm so glad I listened to them, but I definitely understand why someone would give up without support from others.

I remember being relieved every time I finished nursing her and thanking the heavens that I wouldn't have to for another 2 hours or so. It hurt so, so bad. I knew time would heal them, I just wanted it to go a little faster. On my right boob, I had a cracked nipple. I noticed it in the shower - it was red and scary. I told Jake to come over to me and check it out and he agreed it looked cracked. We were both scared because so many people had told us stories about people's nipples COMING OFF from breastfeeding! Haha to let it heal, I only latched her on my left side and would pump my left side. It was definitely harder and more time consuming, but it got better within 48 hours. I bear testimony of Newman's Ointment.

For the first couple of days after we got home, we nursed all day whenever she wanted to build my supply in the coming weeks, but we topped her off with formula in the evenings. It kind of sucked but you gotta do what you gotta do. Every time I topped her off with formula, I would pump so my body would know she wasn't full. Almost always, she downed the formula so I'm glad we did it so I knew she was getting what she needed.

At her first check up at the pediatrician, she hadn't gained all her weight back (obviously). It was when she was 6 days old, but she was getting there. He told me, "Just keep feeding her. She'll get there." Ah, I'm so glad he is so nice and supportive of nursing. At her two week appointment, I was PRAYING she was past her birth weight. It was seriously stressing me out because at that point, we were strictly nursing. I put her on the scale and she was 9 lbs 1 oz! Oh thank heavens! Seriously I was thanking the Lord and my boobs. Hahaha. My milk was working! (Now she is 12 pounds even at 6 weeks and 3 days old. Chubby monkey just how we like it!)

Getting into the third week of nursing was when things started to heal and feel a little better. I started to feel more confident with nursing and we figured out a good night time routine with waking up and going back to sleep. I didn't have to use Newman's Ointment nearly as much and I overall just was starting to feel happier with nursing!

I think getting past the first 2-3 weeks is the most important part. It's a struggle . . . I cried SO much . . . But it's so worth it now. I've finally regulated and my boobs are soft throughout the day which is super encouraging. She's been sleeping 6-8 hour stretches so during that, I try to get up and pump. Sometimes (the past few nights...) I've been waking up and turning off my alarm IN MY SLEEP and waking up so freaking engorged! But other than that, I really haven't been too engorged which has been great. She's still nursing so well but as she gets older, she has started to play with my nipple more. Haha she will literally just lay there and lick it, or put it in her mouth and take it out. I can't help but laugh (and sometimes say OWWW) because it's so cute. I'm sure it won't be that cute when she's got teeth, but for now it is.

Overall I'm just grateful for the people around me who have supported our nursing "journey" and for the people who told me to keep going and that it would get better! I'm so glad I have some people that I can relate to and talk about nursing with (especially Jake's cousin Monica). And mostly I'm just grateful that my body is working. For the first few days, I had serious thoughts that for some reason breastfeeding wasn't going to work out and I was so sad. When starting a nursing journey, my only advice would be to get through that day and keep going, don't try to think about the weeks ahead. Day by day as you get through it, it will stop hurting and your body will make the milk your baby needs.

Push "Continue Reading" for some super cute nursing pictures (but they may show a little boob).