The first day, I called the nurses and asked them to bring me my baby. Jake was laying in the hospital bed with me and then I held her for the first time and she nursed and she was amazing. And we really felt SO happy just looking at her little body and thinking, "Wow! We made her!" And we were taking pictures of her and it was just us three and it was great.
And then as the days went by, nursing got a little harder. My milk took forever to come in so I would feed her, pump, sleep. Feed her, pump, sleep. Oh my dang nipples were killer. Walking was so hard. I was bleeding and passing clots nonstop, so I was always sitting on a little doggy pee pad (haha) and wearing a huge adult diaper. Getting out of the hospital bed was hard even though it was able to be in a higher position. The nurses had to press down on my abdomen a few times a day, check my incision. I was on top of my medication the whole time. I was too afraid to take a shower so I looked like a huge dweeb with all these different visitors. But I look back on the time in the hospital, and it was overall enjoyable and amazing . . . To have so much time of other people taking care of you and focusing on your attachment with your new baby and figuring our your life together. I hope I always get to stay in the hospital for a couple days after having a baby.
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| That big red mark on her head! So sad! |
As the day went on, more visitors came and I was just trying to soak up every second with the baby. I was rarely alone with her because my mom was there which was AMAZING. Trying to learn how your body works and how your baby's body works is really something you can't do alone. You need help. I for sure needed help, so I was really glad we stayed in the hospital for quite a few days.
About the third day, they check the baby's bilirubin levels. They were explaining to me about what levels are acceptable and which ones are high risk, and I was thinking, "Oh June's color is good! She definitely isn't having issues." But then as the day went on, she started to look more jaundice and they came and told us that she was in the high risk "red" category and she had already been under the lights all morning. The worst part about this ... well, two things: I didn't get to hold her at all that day unless she was nursing, so about every 2 1/2 hours. And then, if I went to go see her, she would start moving around and not being happy under the lights if she heard my voice. So I just had to look at her through the window. When I left the room where she was, I cried! I just wanted to snuggle my baby and I didn't want to leave her in this sad little room.
This is June being a little model baby under the lights (holy cow I'm so glad she's not under them anymore). The nurse said that she would try to go move her flat on her back, but a few minutes later June would be back in this position.
Saturday was the day we were getting discharged. I had my last meal, this pasta with marinara sauce, and we got the carseat installed and packed everything away (and by we I mean my mom and Jake). I had my last few rounds of pudding, jello, and popsicles (and coke!) and then put some makeup on to leave. They had to check my blood pressure one more time and it had been a little high since having the baby, but I definitely had some extra nerves as we were about to leave and my bp was super high for me - like 146/94 or something! The nurse who took it didn't even say anything which was probably good of her and went to call Tina, my midwife. She wanted them to check it again in a few minutes so when the nurse came back to tell me that, she told me to think happy thoughts and relax before they took it again. Well then I was nervous about making sure my bp went down or else I wasn't going to get discharged! June already had all her bracelets and everything cut off and was good to go.
They took it again and I'm pretty sure it was actually a little higher *roll my eyes*. Luckily Tina wasn't too worried and just wanted me to go get it checked in a couple of days at the office. Walking out of the hospital wasn't super glamorous like you see in Instagram photos (maybe I should stop comparing my life to insta photos? I do not have an Insta husband hahahah). It was kind of chilly and I was walking like a caveman because my back hurt and I didn't want to ruin my incision. June handled the car ride pretty well. When we got home, our sweet neighbors who just had a baby in December got us all Chick fil a. My mom and I went to H&M which was a terrible idea but we got some cute stuff. I was in a lot of pain and so we went to the casita and watched Grey's Anatomy together until she took me home so I could sleep.
So many things I want to remember about those first couple of days- but mainly how snuggly and sweet June was/is. How nice it was to have my mom around helping me. How even though sometimes it felt impossible, it feels like June and I have meshed together pretty well and the role as a mother has come pretty naturally. And for Jake - those first few days, especially bringing her into this world, were hard for him and he has been really amazing. He loves her and plays with her and snuggles her so hard!
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| Since my milk took so long to come in, we used pasteurized human milk which first of all, is amazing that so many women can donate and allow that as an option! And second, I was glad Jake was able to give her some bottles and bond with her a bit. :) |
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