motherhood right now

Motherhood right now is June sleeping on my chest, nursing every 2 hours, screeching and smiling like a nutball.

Motherhood right now is being so excited yet also sad that she's rolling over. Motherhood is clapping our hands and saying, "Yay! You're such a good girl!" when she rolls over, all around the living room.

Motherhood right now is figuring out the four month sleep regression. Motherhood right now is trying to transition bed time completely to the crib, but also still really enjoying the cuddles I get in the middle of the night.

Motherhood right now is pumping at work.

Motherhood right now is wanting to wake her up right when she finally goes to sleep because she looks so peaceful and sweet.

Motherhood right now is squeezing her thighs and arms to feel the squish, kissing her neck, and hugging her all the time.

Motherhood right now is taking showers with June and while soaping her up, finding little prizes in her neck rolls. And then, after the shower, actually sniffing her head, until the baby soap smell goes away.

Motherhood right now is putting her in a carrier to actually get things done around the house, or picking blackberries and collecting eggs while listening to a podcast. She's happy, I'm happy - we're all happy.

Motherhood right now is knowing there are things that I could or should be doing around the house, but instead laying down with June, nursing her to sleep, knowing one day I'll miss those first-baby cuddles and silence.

Motherhood right now is struggling between wanting her to be bigger and older and more independent, but also wanting her to stay small and dependent. It's hard but fun and sweet to see how time has changed her, but it's amazing seeing her personality come out and watch her meet milestones.

Motherhood right now is sweet . . . Often frustrating . . . but something I really enjoy and am passionate about. I'm trying to slow down and enjoy every little moment with her and be the best mom I can be. I love being a mom . . . I love being June's mom!

DIAMOND FORK HOT SPRINGS!

After the family reunion, Jake's brothers stayed in town for a couple more days which was awesome! On Monday, we wanted to do something fun with them and we decided to go to the hot springs in Spanish Fork Canyon! Jake and I have been wanting to go for a while, but when we think about it, it's always too late. The spot is about 40 minutes from our house and then a 2.5 mile hike up, so you have to go at a good time before it gets dark (unless you're into that kinda thing).

We packed up in the car and the Bruces were coming along too! When we got to the spot, I got out of the car and realized that I forgot to bring June's carrier. So Aaron and Jake's were champs and carried her the whole way. That girl gets heavy after carrying for a while so I'm grateful all the boys were willing to hold her!

We got to the top and it was SO pretty! The water really is so blue. Although it smells like rotten eggs, it's so pretty. The sun went down just enough behind the mountain that it was shady and we felt pretty good getting into certain pools. The pools near the top were literally 120 degrees - SO, SO HOT. I don't even know how Jake, Aaron, and Brent got in there!

The water is seriously so pretty but the area is pretty sketchy because it's SO slippery but you can still get around. We got June in one of the less hot parts of it (probably the temperature of a normal hot tub) but I didn't want to keep her in there for too long because their little bodies can't handle heat that well!

We hung out at the springs probably for like 45 minutes and we were all so surprised there was no one there. Jake said that it's usually super crowded, but I guess the time of day we decided to go, it wasn't that bad! I would definitely go again, but probably when it's a little bit colder outside. When we finished the hike, we were all dripping sweat because it's been so hot outside.

We had so much fun spending some time with Jake's brothers and the Bruce girls. Grateful for family and the things we do together! I also should mention that June is such a trooper and didn't cry or whine at all. She nursed when we got there, and then on the way down she fell asleep and snuggled up to me and then Brent and then Aaron... I know she was loving life with all the snuggles she was getting!

Team Blackwelder Family Reunion Part 1

She was smiling and looking at Brent in this photo 

Cousins!!! Taylor and Megan's cute daughters!! They love, love, love June. They're always telling me, "Your baby is so cute!" 

Cousins, I think.... Somehow. Haha

That's how I feel about coke, too 

Fell asleep on pops... So cute.. Before this, we put some coke on her pacifer hahah and then she fell asleep... Ooops 

Baby Emma being all cute and grumpy! She smiled when I put the camera away of course, haha

Snoozing while everyone played volleyball... She's so cute 

My first family reunion!! And it was awesome. I was really looking forward to it this summer so I could see how they went down and also so I could meet other members of the family. Our timing with June's 4 month shots weren't that great because they were the day before it started and she had a fever and was SO fussy, but on Friday, the first full day of the reunion, she was happy as can be and was loving life - thank goodness.

We were staying in a condo with Jake's family which was so fun. We all dropped our stuff off and unpacked a little bit and then went over to the reunion spot which was not even a 5 minute walk away!

THURSDAY...

The family reunion began with dinner by Dennis, delicious as always!! It was so fun to have everyone arriving at the same place, checking in and getting our shirts and name tags. I was meeting new people left and right - apparently there were about 194 people there, all Blackwelder descendants! Pretty amazing!

Everyone was playing games like spike ball and kan jam and cornhole.

That night Jessica had to work until 6 and then wasn't able to get to the reunion until about 8 and I could tell Emma was getting a little fussy and hungry. Lori was near me and said they had milk, but she wasn't sure where the bottle was and so I asked if I could just nurse her - I have plenty of milk and it'd be super easy! She said yes, of course! So I nursed that little cutie for about 15 minutes. I thought it'd be super weird in the back of my mind, but it was not at all. Luckily June was happy hanging out with a couple other people for the moment. I hope Emma reads this when she's older ;)

FRIDAY...

I had to go to work for 4 hours on Friday, so I got June ready and fed, ate some breakfast, and then went off to work. I tried not to think about her getting passed around while I was gone haha.

When I got back to Midway, I was so excited to see everyone! While I was gone, Jake got a caricature done with June and then the artist added me in too. Pretty cute! I brought June back to the condo to get a nap, and then we watched a little bit of Animal Planet with Aaron while we waited for Ralph to bring our Team Blackwelder shirts.

We got dressed, and June got the CUTEST onesie to wear! Seriously so, so cute on all the babies with their onesies! We ate dinner and then walked over to a grassy area to get family pictures. We haven't gotten those pictures back yet, but I'm excited to see them! June was happy and I was so grateful!

That night there was also THE TALENT SHOW! Haha basically for any kid that wants to go up there and show us their stuff. Oh, also for adults too. There were some great acts like playing the piano and singing and poetry, but the best of all was the last performance - a dance that Aubrey, Sydney, Cannon, Lillie, and Christy came up with! They had been planning it for weeks and it was so cute. They turned the lights completely off, taped glow sticks to their faces and bodies in shapes of people, and then did the dance. They are talented girls and were doing flips and cartwheels and booty shakes. So funny!

After the talent show, there was a dance party. June slept through the whole thing but everyone was doing the cha cha slide and other line dances. It was great how everyone was SO into it!!

When we got back to the house, I put June to bed and then we went downstairs to play Bohnanza! Taylor made chicken and pork chops (sooo good) while we played. Of course Ralph won haha. I love that game. The boys stayed up for a little while longer playing but I went upstairs to snuggle June.

The first two days were great but so exhausting! Being outside all day can wear you out. Luckily the reunions are in Utah and even when it's so hot out, you can go in the shade and be niiiice and cool.

Thanks for letting us join your team, Jake!!

Farm photo drop

We just got back from an awesome, much needed vacation at the farm with all of Jake's family. It was so fun to spend a couple weeks with everyone AND my sister and mom decided to join for a couple days too which was great!

Our time at the farm was mostly spent relaxing, helping with chores, planning future farm things, eating, swimming, and playing games. It's crazy how fast time goes when you're with everyone you love, doing things you love... We looked forward to our trip for so long and then all of a sudden it was over!

One of the best memories from this trip is when Tracey and I went to Adams County which is about an hour and fifteen minutes away to pick up some beef jerky and visit their family friends who happen to be Amish! I've always found the Amish religion so interesting, and when I got to meet them last summer, I wanted to chat with them again! We headed out in the early afternoon and stopped at Maryann's house. She had been making lunch for her family but was willing to sit down and visit with us.

When we first walked up to their door she saw June and said, "Oh that's a fat baby!" Haha I was like she sure is healthy. She also has had babies with Cystic Fibrosis so I'm sure it's obvious when a baby is a fatter baby. I definitely took it as a compliment. Inside, she whispered something to her youngest daughter and immediately she ran to the back room and then when she came back, she had some toys for June in her hand. I thought that was so nice, and helpful especially because June is super interested in toys right now.

As we sat and chatted with them, their son and then her husband, Marvin, came in to join. Maryann asked about all of the kids, remembering them all by name which is so sweet. And then they told us their big news - they're getting out of dairy farming and doing meat cows now! Apparently that's a huge switch for them but I hope it goes well. They are so nice.

We only stayed for about 20 minutes, but then we went to Miller's which is a glorified grocery store, bakery, and furniture store. It was the coolest thing -- all these Amish prepared foods and the cutest "worker girls". We bought TONS of beef jerky for trek the next day and then we went to the bakery and holy moly sugar explosion. It smells SO AMAZING when you walk in there, and then there's loads of options from turnovers to pies to breads and donuts. We got some bread and a couple turnovers and called it a day.

The cashier was a man with a beard and he was looking at June and asked how old she was. I said she's 4 months. And he asked when her birthday is and I said March 13! He said, "My wife and I just had a daughter on March 27th." I was like, "Ah that's my birthday!" It was sweet, you could tell he was thinking, "I have a baby this exact same age at home." Then Tracey told me you can tell they're married when they have a beard. Something I didn't know! Overall it was so much fun just to spend some time with Tracey and visit what felt like a whole new world.

Here's a photo drop of some of the things we did while we were there. . .

Uncle Brent! 

Chillin with pops in the car on Sunday, eating snacks and drinking 5 hour energy... (Not me, Jake.. haa) 

This was the night a videographer came out to the farm to interview us and hear the story of the farm! After all the interviews were done, we were sitting on the polaris watching the boys trying to catch the horses without grain. I think I snapped this picture, but when I looked back on it later I was in awe of HOW CUTE it is!!! We love cousins 

HUBBA HUBBA 

4th of July Fun

Fourth of July in Cincinnati is so fun! On the 3rd, we head to Madeira in the evening for the parade and then fireworks afterwards. This year we did it a little different and went to Scott's in between the parade and fireworks to cool off, eat some food, and play some games. It was insanely hot and muggy so it was nice to take a little break inside, especially with June!

The fireworks went great, and we were so shocked but happy!! Dennis brought some noise cancelling headphones for June - life saver. She seriously didn't even flinch at the noises, and fell asleep during the finale! She played with her toes for most of it and then when she saw the lights in the sky, she couldn't stop staring. It was so dang cute!

We stayed at Scott's that night since it was so much easier with June to stay in Madeira than drive 30 minutes back to the farm and then do it again in the morning. We put her on one bed and then Jake and I tried to sleep together in a twin bed.... Haha such a fail. In the middle of the night I claimed that June woke up and I went to go sleep with her.... SO much more room! Haha

In the morning we woke up and ate some oatmeal and then walked to the Indian Hill parade. Everyone loves this parade because they have a RIDICULOUS amount of candy! It was so, so hot that day and I felt like I was legitimately melting. I was putting cold water all on June's face and neck and I was downing Grandpa's smoothies. SO, SO HOT. Luckily for me (and June), her pops held her the entire parade which was sooo nice. Plus she was doing his hair with a little bit of baby drool so it was a win win.

When the parade was over, they have a party in the park and we went to that for about 30 minutes. We bought a few pizzas and hot dogs and went to town. The kids were playing at the park, but I was seriously just trying to keep hydrated for nursing purposes and trying to keep June cool. When I got back to the table with the food, Ralph said, "She's gonna need some salty milk in a minute.".... SO true hahahah. Ahh so sorry my baby had to nurse with that sweat, but she didn't seem to mind (tmi lol).

The rest of the day was spent at the farm, swimming and having fun. Some of the boys did fireworks that night, but we mostly just played volleyball, pickle ball, and swam. It was fun to be with family and it was so fun to have a baby for all of the festivities!

4 Months Old

15 lbs 12 oz - 80th percentile
26.3 in tall - 98th percentile

My baby girl is FOUR MONTHS OLD! It's been the fastest yet slowest four months of my life, full of learning and FULL of love.

Every day I wake up to June kicking her legs and squirming. Once she fully wakes up and I unswaddle her, she starts making the funniest screech sounds and it sounds like she's trying to talk to us. She also has recently learned to spit and she gets it all over the bed. I turn towards her and just smile at her and she returns the biggest smile ever. Mornings are the BEST with her.

She just started rolling over both ways this week! I really felt like she was just going to wait it out as long as she could, and then the other morning she woke up early and I put her on her stomach in her crib and she just started rolling! She was so happy doing it and I was just laughing and smiling and telling her she was such a good girl. Haha being a mom is so weird and exciting!

She smiles all the time, and is sooo close to giggling but hasn't quite gotten it down yet. She makes the loudest screech sounds and mimics the sounds you make to her. She loves to be loud and chit chat with people. She brings her toes to her mouth and sucks on them sometimes which is hilarious to watch and probably comforting for her. She loves her toys and her activity book - they are life savers in the car!

She also really loves her mama and will make sure people know that she doesn't want to be held by them and give her back. She and I both get flustered when a bunch of people are in our faces and we both make that known. She gets a serious grab on things, especially my hair. She loves taking shoulder rides because she can get a bunch of hair in her hands and pull you around. And she is a crazy, crazy drooler! She soaks through shirts SO fast, it's impressive.

We are so in love with June and all that she's brought to our lives. There are a LOT of hard days (probably more than I'd like to admit), but the good definitely does outweigh the bad and I mean it when I say every day gets a little easier and a little better. She's a happy baby and I'm so glad to be her mom.

June's Blessing Day

June was blessed by her dad on July 8, 2018! It was such a stressful day trying to get everyone together after church, but it turned out great and Jake did such an amazing job! It was thoughtful, sweet, and just perfect for our little June.

We decided to do her blessing at home, but in Cincinnati, so we could feel tight knit and close with our family. We tried to make it as low key as possible but it's hard to make things stress free and low key with so many family members. I'm not sure if we'll do our next baby's blessing at home, but we'll see. This one went pretty great and my heart was so full as I was listening to Jake!

We got lucky with her taking a nap on Jake at the time that everyone got to the farm and we were ready to start. He gently moved her over to be held by all the men and they all gave her some gentle shakes. As she was waking up, Jake had began talking and I watched June's little eyes moving around at everyone in the circle - looking at her dad, grandpa, great grandpas, and uncles. It was the sweetest thing and I was SO HAPPY she was not crying. It felt like such a win!

I cried, of course, because that's what I do with all things having to do with June. I just hope that she grows up to be confident and happy in her body and in her mind.  I hope she asks questions when she wants answers, stays strong in the Gospel, enjoys trying new things, is eager to learn, and loves on everyone. I have so many hopes for this little girl and I can't wait to continue watching her grow.

Another fun side thing was June got to wear the same blessing dress that her cousins Stella and Lucy wore. It fit her perfectly even though she's a chunky 4 month old girl and I was loving the way she looked in the little bonnet. She is the sweetest girl - I can't believe how lucky we are that we get to be her parents.