Ralphie's Birth Story

 Another girl! Baby #5 and 7 months later, I like to tell people that she's completely humbled me.

My pregnancy with Ralphie was really, really nice. Lots of exhaustion in the beginning. . . Taking naps daily while the big kids watched a show was the only way I could make it through the day. I'm talking 1-1.5 hour naps! I had some food aversions, a little bit of nausea, but nothing that couldn't be managed.

We did the blood test around 9 weeks and we found out we were having our third girl in a row! I was kind of shocked, but also knew it at the same time (I was drinking pickle juice). Jake told me that God knew if we had a boy on this pregnancy, we might be done.  

I definitely felt more tired physically as I neared the end of pregnancy. I know that's probably obvious, but I just would like to remember how hard a 5th pregnancy was on my body. When I'm pregnant, I feel bad for the kids that I'm not as active and playful as I can be. At the same time, I recognize the blessings of pregnancy and adding siblings to our family. 

A little girl was due January 9, 2027 and ended up joining us just one day late on January 10. She and Brynn are exactly 2.5 years apart to the day! 

As I neared the end of pregnancy, we made it through all the big holidays: Thanksgiving in Georgia (a big drive at 36 weeks), Christmas, Wesley's birthday, New Year's Eve (all of the kids got the flu and were down for several days). I always have some quiet hope that I might go a little bit early, but I never do. My mom came in town to help us with the kids. I was taking walks with Joey every morning -- usually a mile at the least. I was sleeping pretty well, but by the end of each day my body felt completely done. My patience was being tested. Keeping the house clean was impossible. I was peeing alllllllllllllll the time during the day. 

We had co-op for the kids on January 9. I took them and everyone asked when is that baby coming? I said, "Today is my due date!" I felt a little off the entire day and just kept trying to shake off that feeling because I wasn't actually feeling any contractions. The afternoon of the 9th, Jake wanted to take the kids to Stonelick Lake but I just felt like taking a rest. I really felt like I needed to gear up for this baby, and I was so right.

That evening I was having some contractions, I texted my friends and let them know. They tapered off and I went to sleep. Around 2:30 am, I woke up again to some contractions and decided to go into the living room. Jake woke up about an hour later because I was out of the bed and wanted to check on me. The contractions were so odd. A few would come every 5 minutes and be completely timeable. Others would be every 8 minutes, 5 minutes, 10 minutes. . . The intensity would change with each depending on the position I was in. I couldn't figure out when I wanted to go to the hospital. My mom was sleeping downstairs so we decided to just go and be there, but not go in.

We drove to the hospital and walked around the parking lot and sat in the car for about an hour before we decided to go in. When I was walking, they were very easy to track and manageable, but when were in the car they were sporadic and uneven again. It was also so cold! We drove through McDonalds to get some breakfast before deciding to go in. Jake thought it would be a good idea to go in and "lock in" with a dark, calm room and all the supportive people around me. I let Tracey, Abby, and Emily know that they could head over to the hospital soon.

In the triage room, I was really calm. I answered all of her questions and agreed to be checked. I was, I believe, 5 cm dilated. I told her things usually go fast once I get the laughing gas. On the phone with the other nurse, I could tell from how she was talking that she didn't really believe I was in active labor. I was also weirded out by how different the contractions were and that they weren't coming regularly at this point but I knew I should be there. 

They got me into the room and set up on the bluetooth monitoring so I could walk around. Abby and Tracey showed up. We were all talking as I walked around. I was getting in my head a little bit so I decided to grab the peanut ball and start using the laughing gas. After laying with the peanut ball for a few minutes, I felt like my water began to leak and I asked to be checked. My nurse midwife came in and said I was 8 cm and things were progressing. At this point, I think I went through transition because I feel like I "came back" to the room after some intense contractions. My CNM said I could follow my body's lead on pushing or not. She ended up staying in the room with me the entire time. 

I wasn't pushing quite yet, but my body was doing some of the ejection reflex and each time more water would leak out. After a few contractions like this (where they still weren't coming every 2 minutes or something time-able), I started to try to push with my body. I was excited for Jake to deliver the baby (what would have been his first time for us!) and my CNM was all for it sitting behind him letting him totally take over. 

With Brynn and Eden, I pushed just a few times and they came out. I thought this would be the same. But 20 minutes went by and I was still pushing. Then 40 minutes. Then an hour. Tracey was supporting me and at one point, Jake took off his gloves and came up to my face to talk to me. I was a sweating, blubbering mess and I felt like something was very wrong. I kept asking, "Where is she?" In my head I just kept thinking something is wrong, she should be here by now, what are they not telling me? I was working the hardest I've ever worked. 

My midwife said I had a little bit of a cervical lip (which I haven't had since June!!!) so I know now that the baby's positioning just wasn't ideal. She removed the lip for me as I pushed and that was diabolical. She also asked if I wanted my water broken and I thought it had already broken so I said yes, but as she was about to do it, it broke on its own. She also said that my cervix was swelling and requested that I stop bearing down and do small breaths instead of pushing. I did that for a few contractions until she was comfortable with me pushing again. I don't know the order of all how all these events went down, I just know they were somewhere in the middle of the pushing stage.

It felt like I had birthed the baby's head twice at this point. I kept feeling like, "OK! The hardest part is over!" And then the baby would go right back in. (She never actually came out, she just kept "turtling). Finally, after a lot of work, I was able to get her head out while I was on all 4s. It was a PUSH, PUSH, PUSH HARD yelling-at-me situation. I was screaming, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" And they were all saying, "You can! You have to! You are doing it!" After 25 or 30 seconds, my nurse flipped me over with Jake's help, pushed my legs up, and pushed on my stomach as I kept pushing. The baby came out with her hand right by her face. I heard them yell, "50 second shoulder dystocia". I hadn't fully processed what had happened because I was so focused on getting the baby out and getting through contractions.

I took a breather. Just laid my head back and cried and told Jake we can never do this again. He took a good second to cry. The baby cried. He cut the cord and then I got to hold her and all was right in the world. I was checked for tears - none. I needed a moment so they actually took the baby and weighed her and did all the things so I could recover for just a second. They were telling me how big she looked and asked how big I thought she was? I said maybe she's 9 lbs or something. And they said oh, definitely bigger. When they scale came up, they said, "10 lbs 2 oz!!" I was shocked to say the least. I've always been worried about getting into the 9 lb range, but we skipped right through that into the 10s and everything completely made sense. The timing of the contractions, the positioning of her head, the hand by her face, the length of pushing, the shoulder dystocia. 

I felt absolutely destroyed. I was beyond exhausted, sore, and not feeling well. I rallied for all the visitors that came and that I wanted to meet baby, but when we went home, I was in our bed for the next 7 days. The longest I've ever stayed home with a newborn baby. Of course we went to her pediatrician appointment but that was it. I was soooo sooo exhausted. Emotional about how the birth went. I was incredibly sore on my abdomen. My legs were tired. I felt dirty. Nursing was difficult. The bleeding is another thing in itself -- changing baby's diapers but also changing my own. Small bladder so I was still waking up to use the restroom. All. Of. The. Things.

It's always so worth it. And it's just a season that goes by so quickly. You forget all these things and want to do it again in no time. But wow, her birth did take some mental and physical recovery.

And yes, I'd do it all again for the sweetest, most special little baby girl that everyone adores. 

Ralphie Lynn Blackwelder
10 lbs 2 oz 

7 Things From July

 1. The Fourth of July Blackwelder Madness
We spend so much time together as a family for the 4th and it's my favorite time of year!! The farm was in the Madeira parade this year and the kids got to join in on the float. Wesley and June also ran the kids' Madeira Mile for the first time!! They were some of the fastest kids of the group. The Souths joined us for all of our celebrations. We spent the night at Scott's and enjoyed a ton of candy from the Indian Hill parade! Friends joined us for swimming and bbq at the farm. We didn't make it to fireworks that night because Wesley got hit with some roman candle shrapnel (no one is really that surprised that Dennis was in charge of the fireworks)! 

2. A Mini Girl's Trip To Utah 
We (Tracey and Ralph) bought a building in Madeira that we might possibly be turning into a farm store. In celebration of that, we went to Utah! We weren't able to have everyone come in such short notice, but I got lucky because Jake was on his 2 weeks of bonding so I was able to go. We hit all the fun and yummy things in Utah: Ballerina Farm, Costa Vida, Zupas, Lola's in Midway, Bolt Ranch in Kamas, Hearth and Hill, Maxwell's in PC, PC Main Street, and more. Next year I'd really love to take our family to SLC for the temple open house.

3. Jake's 2 Week Bonding 
We're so lucky that Tri Health offers dads a 2 week bonding period to take (paidddd!) within the first six months of the baby's life. Jake was able to squeeze it in and his breaks always come at the perfect time. He and the kids knocked off soo many things from our summer bucket list. The kids are always curious when he's going to have an extended amount of time off again...

4. Brynn's 3rd Birthday 
Brynn turned 3 on the 10th and I can hardly believe it! She went from baby to big girl so quickly in the past few months (after a quick regression when Ralphie was born). She was excited to receive a fuzzy pink and purple journal, a fun wooden house from Lovevery, some really cute stuffed animals, books, a trip to King Arthur's court, and more. Brynn is a spark in our family! She's loud and crazy and we hope she never changes! 

5. Mimi Visited
My mom visited at the end of July and it was something the kids COULD. NOT. wait for! Highly anticipated mimi dates were the highlight of their summers. They spent individual dates with Mimi doing things only they wanted to do, and I know this is something that needs to happen more often with mom and dad! They also really enjoyed working on the fairy garden with her.

6. Lisette Visited
Lisette might've learned her lesson on never telling me she's bored ever again! She got to visit for a few days and it was the best. It was like having two moms here for a few days and we all really enjoyed it. She's pregnant and cute and we loved taking her to the little miami river at Nisbet park, 50W and Jeni's, swimming, Sharon Woods, and more. No way we were going to let her be bored!! 

7. The Baby Turned 6 Months
I know, I should be expecting this by now. But somehow 6 months have come and gone and she's actually already 7 months as I'm writing this. Babies change and grow too fast. I don't want her to stay tiny because I want to know who she is and her personality and I want to see her do all the things, but I wish I could hold onto the infant stage just a little bit longer. The sweatiness of summer with a baby is unmatched. 

Brynn's Birth Story

 I loved having a summer baby so much, we did it again! 

Expecting another little girl in the summer of 2023 was very exciting. It was a really hard pregnancy due to an umbilical hernia. This caused extra nausea and discomfort throughout the pregnancy, and ultimately, it knocked me out more than I anticipated! 

Aside from the hernia pain, I had a really enjoyable pregnancy with our little girl (Brynn). There was a 25 month age gap between Eden and Brynn, our largest gap yet! Once we hit Eden's second birthday, the countdown was on. I was still working in the flower field as much as I ever was, if not more, which I think helps to have a quick and *easy* labor.

My due date was 7/11/2023. I liked to joke about the date because I love 7/11 slurpees so much. The kids and I had a last hurrah of all the things before we welcomed baby: Downtown Cincinnati family day at Smale Park, the Fourth of July (walking a mile to the parade at exactly 39 weeks pregnant), pizza night, swimming, all of the things. 

I always assume, based on my history, that the baby will come at some point in the 39th week. We went to church on Sunday, July 9th, and it was a completely normal day! I felt good, we visited with Megan and Taylor after, and then we had a regular evening at the farm. I remember taking a ride on the gator to the farm and having a contraction that felt different (not a braxton hicks contraction). I took a little video of me and the kids on the gator because I had a feeling that it was coming. 

The rest of the evening was normal, walking around the farm with Eden and picking blueberries while the other kids played. We had a really delicious dinner! I was having contractions every 20-30 minutes, if I remember correctly.

We went home and went to bed and I figured they would wake me up at some point... And yes, they did. Around 3 AM, I got out of bed to track them and see how I could handle them. We were still living with Brent, so when we were finally ready to go, we just let him know that we were leaving (such a blessing to not have to move children or wait for someone to come to the house)! My contractions had gotten to every 5 minutes apart and were getting stronger. Jake couldn't find his car keys so he had to run to the farm to ask to borrow his mom's car so we could leave the van for the kids. I remember sitting on the couch with my legs crossed because I didn't want anything to happen while he was gone. I was really calm at this point, Brent was talking to me and telling me that it was exciting we were leaving to have the baby! 

We got in the car and called to let them know we were on the way around 4:30 or 5 in the morning. I wish I could remember how dilated and effaced I was when we walked in and went through triage, but I don't. I remember laying down in the bed when we got into our room and managing the contractions just OK, but things were getting intense. Another mom was using the laughing gas and I had decided I'd ask for an epidural when the nurse came back. I wasn't in the right mindset to have an unmedicated labor.

I also remember thinking how boring the morning was -- from intenese, drive fast! -- to relaxing on the bed and refusing to stand up. Right as the nurse came to our room (when I was going to tell her I'd like the epidural), she let me know that the laughing gas was available. Jake told me I should just try it for a few contractions and if I didn't love it, I'd ge the epidural.

 My friend and photographer Abby showed up during this time! I was so grateful for her coming and taking photos and videos for us.

I stood up when I got access to the laughing gas and very similarly to Eden's birth story, I felt her drop into place and started pushing pretty soon after that. They let me know that my doctor was in clinic and offered to have the midwife, Jenn Boyers, deliver me. I told them I'd actually prefer to have Jenn with me, so I felt pretty lucky! Jenn came to my side and even bent down as I was pushing standing up. I was more comfortable laying down after a few times feeling pushy while standing. In a few more intense contractions, she was here! A sweet, crying baby girl who nursed immediately and was so beautiful.

Being in the hospital room with a fresh newborn are the most magical, peaceful moments. Recovery for the both of us went well. When I was home the next day, I took her to the flower garden for just half an hour and cut some flowers. We rested, nursed, and enjoyed our time together before getting back into the craziness of having 4 kids.

Brynn Catherine Blackwelder

July 10, 2023 8 lbs 12 oz 

Eden's Birth Story (the long version)

 

We welcomed another baby to our family last week and it has been magical ever since. Seriously, I've been told the third baby is a wild card from birth and after, but everything has been great ever since she's joined us. Obviously there have been challenges, but nothing that can take away from the magic of adding a baby to the crew or a newborn into the home.

Eden's birth story is really not what I expected it to be. In my head, I guess I was imagining a repeat of Wesley's birth because I truly enjoyed his from start to finish and wanted that experience again.

My due date was 6/6 and Jake was finishing his first year of medical school on 6/4. So that last week, my mom was in town and I was really trying to relax and pray the baby didn't come. Friday, 6/4, she hadn't come and Jake was finished with school so we spent a night downtown to celebrate which was so nice and much needed for the both of us. 

Saturday we came home fully expecting to have the baby that night . . . Nope.

Sunday (my due date) . . . Nope.

Monday . . . Nope.

We finally decided to start enjoying the last days we had together as a family of 4 and where I was feeling good. We did ice cream dates with the kids, park dates, shopping around, we even took them to a restaurant which we haven't done in forever.  I was really trying to be patient and content with the time that we had left, even though we were definitely anxious for her to join us. 

Thursday the 10th we took the kids to the park in the morning so I could go on a walk and they could scooter around. We did an ice cream date at UDF after that which the kids loved. We spent a lot of time at the farm the rest of the day, swimming and playing at the sport court. When we got home around 3:30, Wesley was tired and we were jus relaxing in my room. Around 3:45/4 I had my first noticeable / uncomfortable contraction. 

The rest of the evening went on - I made dinner, I curled my hair, I cleaned some things up, I put June to bed. The whole time I was timing the contractions and they were coming about 5 1/2 - 6 minutes apart but they weren't super painful and they were only lasting 30-40 seconds. I figured they'd get more intense as we got into the night.

I went to the bathroom at 9:13 pm (I texted Jake so I have good time stamps on these haha) and had a bunch of mucous, which made me realize that the contractions were actually doing something!

After that, I started to put Wesley down for bed so that I could lay down and rest before the contractions got too difficult. . . Right when I laid down at 9:37 pm, I heard and felt a pop and I knew my water had broken. I immediately called Jake and asked him to come in our room. I wasn't moving because I didn't want it to leak out on our bed. Jake came in and I asked him to bring a couple towels because I was pretty sure my water had broken. His face went from nonchalant to shocked soooo fast. 

He brought me a couple towels and helped me put them under my body. As I *very* slowly moved, the water just kept on coming. My water has never broken at home, only while we were at the hospital, so this kind of freaked me out. I was especially freaked out because when my water broke with Wesley, he was born 40 minutes later! So when I got up and knew that my water had officially broken, I told Jake we needed to leave now. Of course we hadn't finished packing the bag, so my mom grabbed some last minute things and threw them in. I put on an adult diaper, wrapped a towel around myself, and we went! 

We called my doctor's office on the way to let them know we were on the way. Funny moment from this is Jake was talking to the nurse and when she asked my birthday, he said "3.... 28......1995." Hahhaha, completely wrong. He was nervous - it felt like we went from 0-100 so fast. I guess that's how everyone feels when their water breaks! 

We got to the hospital around 10:45 pm and had to enter through the E.R. which was annoying. We had to wait there for 15 or so minutes for an L+D nurse to come grab us. I was managing the contractions really well, just staying focused and in my head and not worrying about anything else that was going on. They took us straight to my room because the contractions were pretty consistent. I heard the nurse who was wheeling me in talking on the phone saying. "She thinks her water broke and believes the baby will be here fast." I was just rolling my eyes on the inside because I knew 100% for a FACT that my water had broken! 

The midwife came to check me and she was soooo kind and gentle. I was only a 4, 90% effaced, and 0 station. I was surprised but just was glad we made it to the hospital since we were pretty close to not making it with Wesley. 

I laid down in the bed on my left side with the peanut ball and Jake's airpods in and just breathed through the contractions while they got my IV in and did all the paperwork. It's been interesting for my past 2 births, I've been the most comfortable laying on my back or side resting rather than walking around or in the shower. The next hour was pretty chill - the contractions upped in intensity and around midnight, they started to feel like I couldn't manage them. I got shaky and was telling Jake, "I'm not doing this! I can't do this. I'm getting the epidural." 

Jake (calmly) said, "Do you want to try to use the nitrous first?" I said yes, even though in the moment I really just wanted immediate relief. They quickly set that up and I started breathing it in around 12:30 am. 

The nurse asked to check me and I said sure, but don't tell me what I'm at. She told Jake and when she left the room I went ahead and asked Jake what I was at and he said I was a 5. Only a 5 in an hour! So I immediately stood up over the side of the bed because I was feeling done and when I stood up, it was as if the baby dropped into the correct position and my body started to push. I mean REALLY push. I was bearing down and grunting and Jake immediately stood up to be with me and make sure the nurse was coming in! 

My nurse came in within 2 minutes of me standing up because she noticed the contraction pattern changed on the monitor and she asked if she could check me again. I was at a 9! This was probably 12:45 am. She asked me to move to the bed in a few minutes if I could, I said that I would. I actually just gave a thumbs up haha. Best way to communicate in labor.

After a couple more contractions and my body starting to push, I laid down and she checked me again and I was a 10 and she was having them call Dr. Pierson. At this point, I felt pretty out of control to be honest. It felt like the baby was coming, ready or not! I just kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe and focus through each contraction. They were coming one on top of another and I could feel the baby moving down the canal - literally. I could feel the head making its way down and I was trying to reason with myself (in my head) that I could do this. When I try to describe what this part of labor felt like, the only thing I can think of is imagining a large rock coming down and out of you. Without the water sack to cushion everything, her body was just very hard like a rock making its way down.

I remember thinking around this time that I would definitely be getting the epidural next time, and that the pain was almost unbearable and I just needed it to be over ASAP! 

I laid down on the bed at 12:54 AM and was breathing and breathing and breathing, long drawn out breaths. Then around 12:57 I started to push and she was coming! Her head was right there. I pushed for 6 minutes, the longest and fastest 6 minutes of my life. Pushing as hard as I could with each contraction, trying to work with the contraction and not against it. 

At 1:03 AM her head came out, then 2 more big pushes and her body came out. The doctor and Jake said in unison, "You did it! You did it!" They brought her up to my chest, and I laid my head back and cried. It was over. It was beautiful and it was over, now I could enjoy my baby! She cried and she cried and I just laid my head back on the bed, grateful that the pain was over and that she was here with us. The nurse commented that she was another good size baby.

My placenta came quickly, within a few minutes, and I barely noticed. My doctor checked me for tears which burned and I cringed through the checking. I felt so fortunate to not have any tears! 

For the first time in all of my baby's births, we got the golden hour together. She nursed, Jake cuddled her, she nursed again. They weighed her after a little bit of time and she was 8 lbs 12 oz and 20 3/4 inches. I hardly remember the first night with her. She's 3.5 months and her birth already feels like a lifetime ago. I guess that's what having 3 babies in 3 years does to you! 

Eden is beautiful and amazing and sweet and sour. She hates her car seat, but loves everything else. She's a great cuddler and sleeper. She rocks at nursing. Her siblings are obsessed with her. She smiles and when she's super happy, she sticks her tongue out (all the way down to her chin). She fits right into our family and we love and adore her so much. 

Wesley's Birth Story

We had a baby boy!!!! A sweet, chunky baby boy!!!

We found out we were expecting baby #2 in April 2019! We were so, so excited and knew we'd be having the baby after we moved to Cincinnati! Since I had a c-section with June, I knew it might be trickier to find a care provider that was okay with me trying for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), but I was GOING to do it no matter what. I have never been comfortable with the idea of having 2, 3, 4, 5 c-sections.

My pregnancy went really well (more on that later!) and I ended up only gaining around 25 lbs which was great. I had been a lot more active doing yoga and working on the farm doing chores, plus just being with June helped me stay more active. I was also making sure to spend a lot more time on all fours, walking, bouncing on the ball, doing the Miles circuit . . . So many good things that I've heard are important for getting baby in the correct position. I also was eating dates, using evening primrose oil around 38 weeks, eating pineapple, etc.

My family was coming to stay with us on Dec 21. My "due date" was Dec 23. I wasn't having too many signs that labor was impending, but I had this idea that my body was waiting for my family to get here so that June would for sure be taken care of. Every night I would go to bed and worry that I would go into labor and I would have to wake Brent to listen for June or whatever. So many things go through your head those last few weeks, but I was glad to have my family coming to help.

They arrived Saturday Dec 21 around 9/10 pm! I remember that night really well because Jake made some spicy and delicious pineapple fried rice. The Smiths were in town, too, and we were all hanging out together. Throughout that Saturday, we started packing the hospital bag but hadn't finished yet. And I had started to notice some discharge in my underwear (sorry TMI :)) but nothing major.

We went home that night and June was sleeping in our room while my family slept in the other rooms. We put her to bed in the pack n play and we went to bed, too. Around 2:30 am, June woke up and I remember getting up, picking her up, and putting her straight into bed with us. And that's when I had my first contraction. I laid back down thinking, I know for sure that was a little contraction. Let's see if more come . . .

I checked my phone around 3 and I had had a few more that I felt were already coming consistently. I downloaded the contraction timer and they had been coming every 8-10 minutes. I ended up getting out of bed to make sure they would keep coming and to watch Grey's Anatomy. I like watching Grey's while I'm in labor since I've already seen all of them and it can be mindless watching. I sat on the couch and watched for an hour or so - surprisingly, they felt better on the couch than standing.

Around 5 am I went to the bathroom and decided to get into the bath. I let Jake know what was going on but told him to stay asleep since he really needed to rest just in case it was a long day! Plus I didn't want June to wake up, too. So I got in the warm bath with more Grey's and they had still been coming consistently, probably 8 minutes apart max. I watched until the water got cold and the farthest apart the contractions got in the bath was 11 minutes. I knew this was the real deal.

*TMI warning :) I remember checking the clock around 7 am when I went to the bathroom again and when I wiped, I felt a ton of mucous. . . I wiped again and there was SO. MUCH. mucous coming out. I was literally pulling it out. This didn't happen with June so I was surprised how different this was already.

I could feel pressure really low, I had been feeling a similar pressure the last couple weeks of pregnancy, so I knew the baby was for sure in a more engaged position than June was! After the bath, I went back to the couch and watched Grey's again and waited for Jake and June to wake up. I was handling the contractions pretty well honestly. I would breathe through them, but it felt like they were passing quickly.

Around 8:15, I heard Jake and June waking up and they made their way to the living room. Jake made June a bagel and I stayed on the couch as I turned on Frozen 2 for June. I was trying to act cool but the contractions were 5 minutes apart at this point. I wasn't even timing them anymore because they were so consistent! He sat next to me on the couch and he would just watch me every contraction. With his face he was saying, are these real? Haha. I don't think he could believe it either - things had just progressed so much faster this time.

As my family started waking up, I was getting a little overwhelmed and went into the shower. They were about 4 minutes apart now and the shower took the pain downnnnnnn. My mom came and checked on me and asked if I needed anything, I told her to ask Jake to come in and call the doctor. I wanted him to see who was on call and just ask what the doctor thought about when I should come in.

I got out of the shower around 10 am and the doctor wanted to talk to me on the phone. I think the doctor just wanted to hear what I sounded like, so when I had a contraction on the phone and breathed through it really well, he was like, "You sound great! Just plan to come to the hospital in a couple hours but right now I'm comfortable with you staying at home." I was thinking, "Oh I guess I must not be as far as I thought." I stayed laying down on the bed for a little while but things started to get a little overwhelming. When I got off the phone with him, I noticed they had gotten closer to three minutes apart.

I had previously asked Jake to finish packing the bag and he had. I started moving out of the room and looking for acceptable clothes to wear to the hospital. I put on green sweatpants and a black shirt. Jake was eating lunch and kind of moving slow - I guess I wasn't making it sound serious enough that we. needed. to. go! Jake was worried about us going too early, because we both think with June that we went to the hospital a tad early. But I was trying to kindly let him know that I think we need to go . . . like NOW. Even my mom packed an overnight bag since my last labor was soooooo long.

At this point, I was so grateful for my sisters entertaining June because my contractions were 2 1/2 minutes apart and it was getting really difficult to walk and focus on anything else, even in between the contraction. As we got closer to leaving, each contraction I got I had to bend over and just make any noise that felt good. I'm sure my family was like ????

Jake helped me put my shoes on and walked me to the car. June came out to say bye and she was crying and I was crying - I didn't anticipate having so many emotions about leaving my first baby to go have my second. I knew when I came home things were going to be so much different and in that moment, I wanted one more day pregnant with her. But then another contraction came and we had to get out of there.  We let Tracey know that we were headed to the hospital!

When we first got on the road, Jake asked, "Do you want me to go fast or drive safe?" And all I said was FAST. But then there were hills and bumps and I had to ask him to slow down. My mom was sitting directly behind me in the car and she was trying to be helpful by rubbing my shoulders during a contraction but I just didn't want to be touched. I was banging my fist against the window, groaning, grabbing onto Jake's hand. Honestly, I don't remember at all now how that pain felt but I know that it was so real. Crazy how our minds can block those out!

The hospital is about 40 minutes away and I was just trying to stay calm . . . so much easier said than done. About 20 minutes in, I felt the bottom half of my body convulsing. You know how when your body is trying to gag itself to throw up? It was like that but on the bottom half. I was telling myself mentally, you're not pushing. This baby is not coming. You're almost there. You can make it.

Jake was flying at 90 and I said slow down, if you get pulled over we're going to have a baby on the side of the road. He said if he gets pulled over, the police will escort us. I said sure, after he delivers our baby!!

We made it to the hospital and honestly, I didn't know the best way to get to L+D! I had been there once but it was during weird hours and I tried to go that way again and ended up having to walk way further than normal. People were looking at me like I was crazy, but I honestly did not care. We were walking and walking - my mom parked our car for us - and I was stopping every 2 minutes to breathe through a contraction.

When we made it to the front desk, they were wanting me to sign some stuff. I couldn't do it. Jake was filling stuff out for me and another nurse came to the desk after hearing me and said, "What baby is this for you?" And with my fingers I held out the number 2. With that, she immediately opened the door, took my arm, and brought me to the triage room. Right when I got into the room, I was undressing because I wanted to be checked and get into a gown.

I should mention at this point I was feeling really nervous. I'm really good at handling contractions, but I had never prepared mentally for transition stage and pushing. I just had never gotten there before and when I did, it was overwhelming. They were coming so fast and the pressure was building - I could feel everything opening and baby moving down. It was so wild.

When she checked me, Jake walked into the room right when she said, "You're a 6 and -1 station." That honestly was a huge relief to hear. She didn't check baby or anything, just wanted me to go directly to our room. It was just a minute walk away and all the nurses were scrambling getting stuff ready for the baby to come. Jake and I were alone in the room and I had one big contraction that I swear changed everything! I leaned over the sink in the room and just did a huge, lioness scream/roar and cried. Tears falling down my face! He was crying too - I can imagine how helpless he feels in the moment.

After that one, I had another and I said, "I'M PUSHING." The nurse ran back in and said can I check you again? I said yes, laid on the bed, she checked me and said, "She's an 8 and 0!" When she said that, my water broke all over her - just like in the movies - a huge splash on the bed and the floor. So within 3 minutes, I had dilated 2 more cm and baby had for sure moved down. The rest of this time until the baby was born is really blurry. I was letting fear take over and I had been telling them I wanted an epidural, or something to take the edge off. They told me they couldn't give me anything until the doctor approved it. I was asking over and over and over until finally they hooked up laughing gas for me.

I remember there was another doctor on call that was standing in the doorway. They told me he would deliver the baby if my doctor didn't make it. There were a ton of other nurses bringing the baby warmer in and setting up huge lights. It all felt truly surreal. And again, overwhelming. I couldn't believe this was really happening. This is the part I will have to prepare for next time mentally, because my mind kept telling me "You can't do this." but my body was telling me, "Well, you HAVE to do this and you ARE doing it."

I believe we got into our room around 12 and my doctor made it and checked me. I told him, "Do NOT tell me I'm a 10!" I was still holding out hope for that epidural ha. And he said, "Well. . . you're a 9.5 with a lip but you can push if you're ready!"

I remember they kept asking me if I wanted to lay in a different position or stand or go on all fours or do whatever I wanted, but I felt comfortable on my back which is surprising. The laughing gas kicked in really quickly and it truly helped me relax so much. It helped my mind back off from saying you can't do this and just let my body work. 10/10 would recommend laughing gas.

It was a little weird at one point because I think with the calm that I felt with the laughing gas, I thought I had gone to sleep or something. It felt like I was in a completely different world, and then all of a sudden I came back down to that hospital room and I had the thought, "Oh I'm still here and I'm not done yet." I remember asking if June was okay and Jake laughed and said we had only been at the hospital for 20 minutes. They showed me pictures of her on the swing all happy. I asked if Jake's mom had made it yet and she was on the way.

The nurses helped me realize that I was kind of working against the contraction by trying to keep everything in. They encouraged me to just push and work with the contraction and that might make it feel better, and they were totally right. Once I started pushing down with the contraction, there was a ton of relief physically. I could feel where each push was working and I could feel everything coming down. It was truly remarkable!!

I remember the nurses and everyone kept telling me how great I was doing and that the baby was almost there, but when I looked off to the side, the doctor was standing at the door. I thought to myself, "If the baby was close, he would be down there, not at the door. They're lying." Hahaha. My mind was talking so much, but my mouth was totally silent (which I'm glad for).

Finally, there was one huge push that is STILL engrained in my head. This push, I felt basketball-sized pressure coming out and it was a burning sensation. BURNING. I remember closing my eyes, pushing, and thinking again to myself, "I'm tearing from my vagina to my butthole right now. That's fine. It'll heal." I just kept pushing to get rid of that burning and pressure as soon as I could. When I finished that push, I remember everyone saying, "You're crowning! He's coming! His head's here!"

Another contraction came pretty quickly and everyone knew because I would start with a low groaning sound when I felt it start. They encouraged me to push and I did but then the doctor realized that the cord was pretty tight around the neck. He tried to lift it off with the next push but it was so tight he ended up having to clamp and cut it before the body was out. He told me to wait, and I actually was able to. Once they said it was safe, I pushed again and his body came out so quickly.

The nurse said, "It's ab oy!" And Jake said, "It's a boy!" And then I said, "It's a boy!" And we were crying and we were so happy and I was grabbing his tiny cute body. Jake was kissing my forehead and we were so, so happy. I was probably the happiest because holy cow, that was so crazy.

The cord was pretty tight and he wasn't crying quite yet (I didn't notice in the moment), so they ended up taking him to the warmer and they did CPAP for about a minute. His first APGAR was 2 and his second APGAR was 9. He perked up quickly, luckily. Before they took him to the nursery (which is protocol for babies who require CPAP), they let him nurse and cuddle me. I was so grateful for those moments with him, especially because I knew holding him so quickly would help our breastfeeding relationship flourish!

When they were checking him out on the warmer, I passed the placenta very easily. I hardly noticed because I was just trying to see him! I had a first degree tear and required one stitch. He gave me some lidocaine and did that so quickly. He tried to prepare me for what the next day would be like but I honestly couldn't hear at all. I was in shock that I had just gotten my VBAC and it felt like I had to put in very little effort. I was also shocked we had a baby boy!!

It was overall such an amazing, fast day. He was born at 12:43 pm weighing in at 8 lbs 14 oz and 21 inches long. He was immediately so sweet, an amazing nurser, and had the brightest eyes.

We love you, Wesley Christopher Blackwelder!

Wesley's Blessing Day

Wesley was blessed on super bowl Sunday!! With June, we decided to have a blessing at home (at the farm) because it's more close-knit and less nerve-wracking for me. It's hard trying to figure out a good time when the baby is going to be sleeping and then do it . . . but at home, we can do it whenever the baby is ready! With both babies so far, it's worked out perfectly! Wesley slept so well during it. Personally, babies not crying helps me feel the spirit a little bit more ha.

Since I'm writing this way after the fact, I thought I'd share a sweet story about Wesley and Pops. Pops was holding baby boy in church on the same Sunday, fast Sunday, and after he gave Wesley back to me, he went up to the stand to bear his testimony. I don't remember exactly what he said but it was to the effect of Wesley is really blessed to have so many people who love him, especially men that have continued to follow the gospel as they have gotten older. If he's ever in need of guidance or encouragement, he has so many amazing men to look up to. It's hard to imagine Wesley, or any of my children, ever straying away from the gospel or our family. It made me think, what can I do better to help my children want to stay with me and do good things?

Everyone came to the farm at a great time and we were able to do the blessing in a really smooth way. I had Megan take some pictures of our family beforehand and then during the blessing, Wesley slept while being rocked. I'm sure it felt like heaven. Jake gave a really sweet, genuine blessing. It's always so crazy to me how eloquent he can be in such a small amount of time. I feel like I need to prepare even for a prayer, but he can just go out there and put tears in everyone's eyes!

We really are so lucky to have an amazing family and such wonderful children. Adding Wesley to our family has rocked my world in so many ways, I'm glad that I have help everywhere I look to get me through the tricky times. We love our Wesley more than words can say - so happy he chose us!

Here are some pictures, completely unedited, from Wesley's special day!